Sunday, 9 April 2017

Reflecting on the reflection to reflect.... equals confusion

So when I initially started my MAPP journey and looking at Module 1s assignments,  I was so lost and confused; how on earth am I meant to start finding how I learnt do to certain aspects of my career. 

The Start:
I reviewed my career via my c.v, identified learning that had taken place, seemed simple enough right? 
Nope!
I had 20 areas, all to which did cross over and were way too broad.

OK now to simplify, I still felt confused and thankfully I spoke to Adesola, who helped me identify 4 key areas to create my titles. 
I had previously been research, reading and making lots of notes, now to structure my essays to evidence my learning.

The Doing:
Putting pen to paper so to speak, left me needing, craving some guidance, how do i structure this essay?
After my 2nd Skype meeting, we spoke a lot about trusting in our own capabilities and not to wait for direction. Establishing there is no right and wrong. 
OK so now to trust and begin......

The Submitting:
I had started structuring my  4 AOLs and although I still had the sense of 'Am I doing this right' I knew I had to trust in my writing and remember this is a draft all I can do is what I feel is OK and carry on and that I did.

As I was coming to the end of completion, significantly close to the deadline. I really wished I had someone on my course to speak to, 
Am I the only one who is still unsure? Constantly questioning myself and being super critical of my own work?!
 I decided to put a cry for help on the Skype chat and the amazing Raymond appeared and answered my call.

Since then we regular chat about how we are feeling and how we are doing, and he has been so supportive and it has been so comforting to know someone else feels the same!!

We actually reflect together a lot about our progress, providing support and sharing ideas and dare i say reflection! 
Honestly if anyone is feeling lost, unsure or worried, note we all do and you know what its OK to do so. 

Lets share our experience and grow together just as Ray and I have....Thanks Raymond!




Wednesday, 15 February 2017

Ok, so here I am typing out my first Blog, consumed with questions/doubts/fears....'What do I write?', 'Where on earth do I begin',

After reading though a few Blogs by my fellow MAPPers, ( which were all very insightful ) and having two Skype calls, I should now surely be feeling more confident about my studies towards my MA. Do I? Nope.

Am sat here over analyzing every sentence I write. When in fact it's these precise feeling that got me intrigued, How now the roles have reversed as I now become the learner. To which has left me with feelings of self doubt, vulnerability, unequipped and lost.

Every year as I welcome a new cohort of learners I go through the introductory procedures of enrolling correctly/systemically, timetabling, uniform, course content and so on.....However on reflection do I stop,breathe and acknowledge how each individual is feeling. The room is full of the unknown, not necessarily in a negative sense but how often do we stop and recognize and address the insecurities/vulnerability present.

It's the relationship between teacher-student that have sparked an interest for me. Do we act as guides or do we motivate to enforce self guiding? For many reading this post, you will be able to identify to the Autocratic approach of dance training, Teacher say and we do. This was also identified and discussed in the Skype meeting on Sunday when Helen and Adesola, who both kindly shared their own personal journeys. The Autocratic approach isn't one I adapt in my own teaching, however as a learner I have found it more difficult to not await 'direction'.

It's this questioning/reflecting, that have lead me into two research areas:  The Lifewide Learning concepts, and effective integration of Health and Well Being.

Already from starting the blog...(at last! ) to finishing ( another at last...) I already feel more confident, I look forward to reading more of your blogs, and sharing ideas. Now I am off to delve into my research and build on my reflective journal with much more clarity. ( I think )